by Anonymous
I endured an incident of verbal abuse from my boss in front of my colleagues which went against the company handbook not to mention causing me great pain, embarrassment and humiliation. It was related to performance, but crossed all boundaries and was offensive not only to me but to my colleagues who at the time were all concerned for my well being.
Her tone was harassing and her words belittling. She yelled at me stating some hostile and bullying remarks, ridiculing me in front of 15 people. I documented the incident and planned on talking to her in my next one on one.
However, consistently, she has blown off our meetings altogether, or would text me postponing them hour after hour. When we finally did get to talk she was livid and wouldn’t own up to anything, and threatened that if I couldn’t keep up or I didn’t like what she was saying she would ask for my resignation. I responded “why would I resign? ” I liked my job and wanted to talk it out which I thought we had until it happened again.
In the meantime she wrote me up for not meeting my goals all the time. She made me promise a certain # of calls/day, and #’s of events planned, lead projections etc.
I did all she asked for 2 weeks. Then she asked me to continue a third week, which I did as I was doing well. The fourth week, I did not do this plan as I got sick with the flu. (I am a diabetic, and cannot screw around with my health. She was very angry and scoffed at my illness)
When my numbers were lower than expected she flipped out. She called me at home trying to provoke a verbal fight with me on the phone. She even went so far as to making up stuff that I did not do, and she wanted me to sign a document saying I did these things that I did not. I refused and told her I would only speak with her with HR present. She also forbade me to speak to any of my colleagues about our interaction.
She had accused me of telling them that she had written me up, which I hadn’t, but didn’t really understand what the big deal was if I had.
Her isolation of me from the group included her sending people out to my area to do my job, and having a prospective new employee call me and ask me about her. Which I did not answer and now she is accusing me of telling him about our companies business, when she had him call me.
All of this craziness has produced undue stress, and has made it very difficult to do my job. I have taken some sick time while HR has launched an investigation. Tomorrow I see a doctor regarding the stress and I have asked for a transfer. I think they may fire me. So I am trying to prepare. I am well liked and respected at this company, and this job was a promotion. It required I move out of state…which I did and I am now in Oregon.
My partner still lives in California, and I may have to go back if I lose this job. So I guess I am wondering if its better to wait to be fired? Quit? Is it good cause, misconduct, or I seem to remember something about if I quit to move to a where a spouse is located I could just quit and do that? This is sooo stressful. Please let me know your thoughts. Thank you M
Hi M.
I don’t think quitting would be my first choice. By the way, thanks for the details.
First you did the right thing by involving HR.
California does allow benefits if you quit to follow a spouse and the distance to commute would be impracticable, Oregon will to if reasonable alternatives are pursued before quitting to avoid having to quit, but I do not see how either would apply to your situation.
I’d really like to know if you have any idea why this woman has such rage against you.
I usually direct anyone in your situation to websites like The FCC “Understanding Workplace Harassment”
Or the The United States Dept. of Labor so you could get more information about your workplace rights and benefits … particularly with regard to FML.
M you are one those people I always tell “your issues extend way beyond whether you can get unemployment or not”. I’m sure you could, but I also truly believe that we ALL have a responsibility to take steps to protect our rights as workers.. not just for our own good, but for our collective good.
To me, it’s kind of like all the regular kids on the playground standing up for the one the bully choose to pick on that day.
I know unemployment benefits may be the only answer for so many of us when things go bad with a job, but if we are aware or become aware of our rights while we still have a job and assert those rights .. gradually .. maybe .. it will be the bully that fears for their job if we wouldn’t always choose the path of least resistance.
This type of behavior by someone in charge is not a rare occurrence, it’s a freaking epidemic ..
Okay, I am turning red right now, but so be it. If you’re wondering what made me go off on a tangent .. you said you liked your job and that you were well liked and respected by your colleagues. Most people can’t say that. It’s rare and it would be a shame to allow a bully to take it away.
Finally, I’m going to put a link here to another website. It’s an employment attorney who sells something, for which I am NOT an affiliate for, but it’s good stuff and it’s very relevant to your situation. There’s a free email course (the good stuff). The free stuff about protected classes is worth the effort. Click here.
And please do update your web page to let us know what’s happening. I think everyone’s experience adds to the collective good:)
Thanks,
Chris